Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow

3.92(334131 readers)
“Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell—and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it—Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening—as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.

Publisher

Flatiron Books

Publication Date

11/1/2022

ISBN

9781250866448

Pages

250

Categories

Life & Leisure

About the Author

Matthew Perry

Matthew Perry

Matthew Perry was an American-Canadian actor, comedian and producer. He gained international recognition in the 1990s for playing Chandler Bing on the NBC television sitcom Friends (1994–2004), and earned a Screen Actors Guild Award for the role.

Questions & Answers

Matthew Perry's personal struggle with addiction significantly influenced his career and personal life. His addiction to alcohol and drugs impacted his acting roles, leading to periods of rehab and a struggle to maintain sobriety. His role on "Friends" was pivotal; it provided him with a stable career and financial success, which he acknowledges as a crucial factor in his recovery. The pressure of maintaining his character's comedic performance often led to intense anxiety and fear of failure, which he coped with through substance abuse. His journey through addiction and recovery has also allowed him to connect with others who face similar challenges, influencing his decision to share his story and advocate for addiction awareness. His personal growth and sobriety have shaped his later roles and projects, demonstrating his commitment to using his experiences to help others and contribute positively to society.

Matthew Perry's memoir offers profound insights into the nature of addiction and its devastating effects. He describes addiction as a relentless disease that feeds on itself, often leaving individuals feeling isolated and powerless. Perry's journey is marked by a constant search for relief from emotional pain, leading to a cycle of substance abuse and relapse. He highlights the importance of seeking help, the value of spiritual experiences, and the transformative power of sobriety. His candid account reveals the impact of addiction on his career, relationships, and mental health, emphasizing the need for understanding, support, and a willingness to change. Perry's story serves as a powerful testament to the possibility of recovery and the importance of embracing life's challenges with courage and hope.

Perry describes seeking help and recovery as a challenging and ongoing journey. He emphasizes the importance of sponsors, friends, and family in his path to sobriety. He believes sponsors, like Earl, played a crucial role in guiding him through the process, offering support and advice. Friends, such as Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox, provided laughter and camaraderie, while family members, like his mother and sisters, offered emotional support and companionship. Perry acknowledges that his sponsors and loved ones helped him navigate the complexities of addiction and recovery, making it easier for him to stay sober. He also highlights the significance of his own determination and willingness to seek help, as well as the power of community and support networks in overcoming addiction.

Matthew Perry's memoir highlights several key lessons and transformations:

  1. Addiction as a Disease: He learned that addiction is a chronic disease, not a personal failing, and that it requires ongoing management and support.

  2. Spiritual Connection: Perry's struggles led him to seek a spiritual connection, which he found through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and his own experiences. He now believes in a higher power and finds strength in helping others.

  3. Self-Reflection and Growth: He realized the importance of self-reflection and personal growth, acknowledging his mistakes and learning from them. This has allowed him to become a better person and actor.

  4. Gratitude and Acceptance: Perry has developed a strong sense of gratitude for his life, his loved ones, and the opportunities he's been given. He has also learned to accept himself and his past.

  5. Balance and Sobriety: He understands the importance of maintaining a balance between work, sobriety, and personal life. He has found ways to stay sober and enjoy life without relying on substances.

  6. Helping Others: Perry has become an advocate for addiction awareness and recovery, using his experiences to help others struggling with similar issues. This has given him a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Matthew Perry's memoir serves as both a cautionary tale and source of inspiration. His story highlights the dangers of addiction, especially the power it holds over one's life, even when surrounded by success and love. His struggles with alcohol and drug addiction, and the consequences they brought, serve as a stark warning against the destructive path of substance abuse.

Perry offers several pieces of advice for those struggling with addiction:

  1. Seek Help: He emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help and joining support groups like AA.
  2. Understand the Disease: He encourages understanding addiction as a chronic disease, not a personal failing.
  3. Build a Support System: He stresses the value of a strong support system, including friends, family, and sponsors.
  4. Embrace Sobriety: He advocates for prioritizing sobriety over all else, as it is the key to a fulfilling life.
  5. Find Purpose: He suggests finding a purpose beyond oneself, such as helping others or contributing to society, as a way to maintain sobriety.

Perry's journey from addiction to recovery offers hope and inspiration to those facing similar challenges, demonstrating that recovery is possible with determination and support.

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