Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex

Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex

Michael Todd

4.1(6895 readers)
A candid, inspiring guide to finding lasting love by getting real about your relationship goals--based on the viral sermon series about dating, marriage, and sex.

Realer than the most real conversation you've ever heard in church on the topic, Michael Todd's honest, heartfelt, and powerful teaching on relationships has already impacted millions. Michael believes that relationships are the epicenter of human thriving. All too often, though, we lack the tools or vision to build our relationships on the wisdom and power of God.

In other words, it's good to have a goal, but you can't get there without proper aim! By charting a course that candidly examines our most common pitfalls, and by unpacking explosive truths from God's Word, Michael's debut book will transform a trendy hashtag into a future where your most cherished relationships thrive in relational life, hope, and abundance. Now those are real #relationshipgoals.

Publisher

Waterbrook Press

Publication Date

4/28/2020

ISBN

9780593192573

Pages

208

Categories

Life & Leisure

About the Author

Michael Todd

Michael Todd

Michael Todd is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of RELATIONSHIP GOALS and the lead pastor of Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Michael's driving passion is re-presenting God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ.

Michael speaks at a variety of influential churches, events, and conferences each year, including Elevation Church, C3 Conference, Lakewood Church, VOUS Conference, Relentless Church, XO Conference, and many others.

Michael and his wife, Natalie, have been married since 2010 and live in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with their three beautiful children: Isabella, Michael Jr., and Ava.

Questions & Answers

The book defines purpose in relationships as an integral part of God's plan for individuals' lives. It emphasizes that each person has a unique purpose, which God has planned before their birth. This purpose is not just about personal dreams but is deeply connected to the kingdom God is building. The book highlights that relationships, especially romantic ones, should align with and support this purpose.

It relates this to God's plan by emphasizing the importance of prioritizing the relationship with God over all others. The book argues that a healthy relationship with God is crucial for successful human relationships, as it provides the grace, peace, and love necessary to maintain them. It also suggests that the right partner will help an individual fulfill their purpose, rather than hinder it. The book encourages readers to seek God's guidance in understanding their purpose and finding relationships that align with it, ensuring that their lives are in harmony with God's plan.

The book "Relationship Goals" outlines key principles for successful dating and marriage that differ from conventional societal norms in several ways:

  1. Intentional Dating: The book emphasizes intentional dating, focusing on compatibility and spiritual alignment rather than casual or recreational dating. It suggests a 90-day period to deeply know each other without pressure.

  2. Equally Yoked: It advises against dating or marrying someone who doesn't share the same faith, as this can lead to spiritual conflict and a "war" in the relationship.

  3. Prioritizing God: The book emphasizes that God should be at the center of relationships, with both partners actively seeking His guidance and purpose.

  4. Understanding Needs: It highlights the importance of understanding and meeting each other's needs, which differ between men and women, and encourages communication to fulfill these needs.

  5. Conflict Resolution: The book emphasizes the power of words and the importance of resolving conflicts in a way that strengthens unity rather than causing lasting damage.

  6. Marriage as a Triangle: It views marriage as a triangle with God at the top, emphasizing the importance of spiritual growth and unity between partners.

  7. Continuous Growth: The book encourages continuous personal growth and maintaining a sense of individual purpose, even within marriage.

These principles differ from conventional societal norms by placing a stronger emphasis on spiritual alignment, personal growth, and God's role in relationships, rather than focusing solely on physical attraction, social status, or personal desires.

The book "Relationship Goals" addresses soul ties as powerful emotional connections that can hinder personal growth and relationships. It emphasizes that these ties, often formed through sexual intimacy, can create a strong bond that is difficult to break, leading to distractions from God's purpose and healthy relationships.

To break these unhealthy connections, the book suggests a four-step process:

  1. Call It: Acknowledge the soul tie and recognize it as a negative influence.
  2. Confess It: Confess the soul tie to someone you trust, seeking healing and support.
  3. Cancel It: Remove reminders of the soul tie from your life, possibly changing your environment or social circle.
  4. Cast It: Cast off the soul tie by entrusting it to God through prayer, allowing Him to empower you to live a healthier life.

The book also highlights the importance of leveraging the soul tie with Christ, emphasizing that God's power is greater than any unwanted soul tie, and encourages believers to seek His strength in overcoming these connections.

According to the book's perspective, cultivating a personal relationship with God is foundational for achieving healthy relationships with others. The author emphasizes that without God, relationships can be superficial and lack depth. By prioritizing a relationship with God, individuals can:

  1. Gain wisdom and guidance for their relationships, as God's Word provides a stable and unchanging standard.
  2. Develop self-awareness and self-love, which are crucial for healthy relationships.
  3. Experience God's love and acceptance, which can transform how one loves and relates to others.
  4. Find purpose and direction in life, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
  5. Receive strength and resilience to navigate the challenges of relationships.

In essence, a strong relationship with God serves as a foundation for building healthy, God-honoring relationships with others.

The book encourages readers to take responsibility for their actions and choices in relationships by emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, purpose, and surrender to God's will. It suggests that individuals should invest time in understanding themselves and their purpose, and not neglect their relationship with God. The path to personal and relational transformation includes:

  1. Self-Reflection: Recognize and address personal issues, such as past mistakes and negative patterns, to grow and develop.
  2. Intentional Relationships: Engage in relationships with purpose, setting boundaries and seeking mutual growth.
  3. Surrender to God: Entrust personal decisions and relationships to God, allowing His guidance and wisdom to shape one's life.
  4. Healthy Boundaries: Establish and maintain healthy boundaries to protect oneself and foster growth in relationships.
  5. Cultivating God's Relationship: Prioritize cultivating a deep, personal relationship with God, which serves as the foundation for all other relationships.
  6. Seeking God's Will: Pray for understanding of God's plan for one's life and relationships, and align personal choices with that plan.
  7. Learning from Mistakes: Acknowledge and learn from past mistakes, using them as opportunities for growth and transformation.

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