I Didn't Know I Needed This: The New Rules for Flirting, Feeling, and Finding Yourself

I Didn't Know I Needed This: The New Rules for Flirting, Feeling, and Finding Yourself

Eli Rallo

3.34(6403 readers)
From TikTok star Eli Rallo, an irreverent, laugh-out-loud funny, and searingly honest take on modern dating and romance with tips, tricks, and survival-guide style rules.

I Didn’t Know I Needed This is the dose of confidence every girl needs to live their life on their own terms. Eli Rallo is a social media superstar, a Carrie Bradshaw for the TikTok age, a true romantic at heart, and the best friend every young woman wishes she had. As someone who prides herself in feeling fully and deeply, Eli is on the ride with you, kissing the frogs, sending (and deleting) the risky DMs, climbing down frat house gutters, making the friends you’ll have for life, all while finding love and falling in love with yourself and learning that everything will be alright. In this earnest and vulnerable look at what it’s really like to date as a young woman in the modern world of dating apps, rotating rosters, and social media snafus, Eli gives her rules for each stage of the game—tried and true tricks of the trade.

I Didn't Know I Needed This follows the natural lifecycle of dating, starting with being single, flirting, and navigating the apps to going on dates, having sex, falling in love, and managing relationships, to finally dealing with heartbreak, finding closure, prioritizing your friends, and honoring your life.

Discover the rules that have worked for her, and garnered her more than a half million TikTok With touching stories of her own adventures and mishaps, Eli helps you navigate dating in a way that’s frank, honest, funny, and relatable, giving the advice that you didn’t even know you needed.

Publisher

Harvest

Publication Date

12/12/2023

ISBN

9780063298460

Pages

320

Categories

Life & Leisure

Questions & Answers

The central theme of "I Didn't Know I Needed This" is self-discovery and self-empowerment within the context of dating and relationships. It challenges traditional norms by emphasizing individual growth and self-acceptance over the conventional focus on finding a romantic partner. The author, Lili, advocates for prioritizing personal development, embracing singlehood as a fulfilling state, and valuing friendships equally. She encourages readers to be authentic, communicate openly, and prioritize their own happiness and well-being, which often goes against societal expectations of dating and relationships.

Eli Rallo leverages her personal experiences to offer relatable and practical advice on dating and relationships. She shares her own experiences, including heartbreaks, dating mishaps, and lessons learned from various relationships, to provide readers with authentic insights. Her storytelling approach makes her advice relatable and relatable, allowing readers to connect with her experiences and apply them to their own lives. By being transparent about her own struggles and triumphs, Rallo empowers readers to navigate the complexities of dating and relationships with confidence and self-awareness.

According to the book, self-love and self-acceptance are foundational for developing healthy relationships. The author emphasizes the importance of understanding and valuing oneself before seeking validation from others. This self-awareness helps individuals recognize their worth, set boundaries, and avoid codependency. By focusing on personal growth and self-acceptance, individuals can enter relationships with a strong sense of self, fostering healthier dynamics and more fulfilling connections. The book suggests that self-love is crucial for recognizing and pursuing relationships that are mutually respectful and supportive.

The book addresses the digital dating landscape, particularly dating apps, by offering practical advice and shifting perspectives. It emphasizes the importance of authenticity in profiles, suggesting that users be themselves and not fabricate their personas. The book also encourages treating dating apps as a game with low stakes, focusing on getting to know people rather than seeking validation. It provides strategies for effective communication, such as using engaging prompts and being clear about intentions. Additionally, the book advocates for self-awareness, suggesting that users should prioritize self-validation and self-knowledge over external validation. It also addresses the stigma around online dating and encourages openness about meeting someone online.

"Honoring your life" emphasizes embracing and appreciating one's current reality, rather than romanticizing it or setting unrealistic expectations. This concept contributes to personal growth and fulfillment by encouraging authenticity, self-acceptance, and realistic goal-setting. By focusing on what is achievable and meaningful, individuals can avoid disappointment and feel more in control of their lives. This approach fosters self-compassion, resilience, and a deeper connection to oneself, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life. It also promotes the idea that personal growth is a continuous process, allowing for adaptability and the celebration of life's imperfections.

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