I’m Glad My Mom Died

I’m Glad My Mom Died

Jennette McCurdy

4.45(1222509 readers)
A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died , Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly , she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

Publisher

Simon & Schuster

Publication Date

8/9/2022

ISBN

9781982185824

Pages

304

Categories

Arts

About the Author

Jennette McCurdy

Jennette McCurdy

Jennette McCurdy got her start in child acting, which by her late teen years had brought her success (she starred in Nickelodeon's hit show iCarly and her own spin-off, Sam & Cat). She went on to star in the Netflix series Between, and had a short-lived country music career with Capitol Records Nashville. Despite her outside success, McCurdy felt ashamed of 90% of her resume and ultimately unfulfilled, so she turned to alcohol, but since that didn't work, she quit acting and began pursuing writing/directing in 2017. She has written/directed a pilot and four short films. Her work has been featured in/on The Hollywood Reporter, Short of the Week, Florida Film Festival, Salute Your Shorts, and many more. She has written articles for Huffington Post and the Wall Street Journal. Her one-woman show “I’m Glad My Mom Died” had a sold-out run at Lyric Hyperion Theatre. She hosts a podcast called “Empty Inside”, where she speaks with guests about uncomfortable topics.

Questions & Answers

The mother's relentless pursuit of her daughter's acting career and her own unfulfilled dreams significantly impact the protagonist's life and self-image. The mother's overinvolvement leads the protagonist to develop anorexia, as she feels pressure to meet her mother's expectations of being a successful actress. This intense focus on acting and appearance erodes the protagonist's self-esteem and sense of identity, as she views herself primarily through the lens of her mother's desires.

The consequences of this intense parental involvement are profound. The protagonist struggles with eating disorders, experiences emotional abuse, and feels trapped in a role she didn't choose. Her relationship with her mother becomes strained, and she loses touch with her own interests and needs. The protagonist's journey highlights the dangers of overparenting and the importance of individual autonomy and self-discovery.

The protagonist's struggles with body image, eating disorders, and mental health are deeply intertwined with the entertainment industry's focus on appearance and success. The relentless pressure to maintain a certain image for career advancement, as seen with the protagonist's mother's obsession with her appearance and the industry's preference for thinness, creates a toxic environment. This pressure leads to the protagonist's development of eating disorders as a means to control her body and life, as well as a coping mechanism for the immense pressure and stress.

Being under constant scrutiny and pressure also has long-term effects. The protagonist's self-esteem and self-worth become tied to her appearance and success, leading to a fragile sense of identity and a constant fear of failure. This can result in a cycle of anxiety, depression, and further disordered eating patterns. Additionally, the protagonist's career break and the subsequent loss of identity highlight the industry's ability to define an individual's worth, which can have lasting impacts on mental health and overall well-being.

The protagonist grapples with her identity by navigating the expectations of her mother, who pushed her into fame and controlled her life. She feels trapped by her fame, which she resents as it confines her to the role of "Sam" from iCarly. Her relationships, including her romantic ones, are strained by her desire for independence and her fear of losing her connection to her mother. She seeks her own path by quitting acting, dealing with her eating disorder, and trying to understand her true self. The protagonist's journey involves overcoming societal expectations, her mother's influence, and her own insecurities to find personal growth and self-acceptance.

The protagonist's journey with bulimia reflects broader eating disorder and mental health issues in young adults through several aspects. Firstly, her struggle with bulimia is deeply intertwined with her mother's influence, highlighting the impact of parental expectations and the pressure to conform to societal beauty standards. Her mother's encouragement of calorie restriction and her focus on her daughter's appearance as a means to success perpetuated unhealthy behaviors.

Secondly, the entertainment industry's role in her life exacerbates these issues. The constant scrutiny and pressure to maintain a certain image contribute to the protagonist's anxiety and self-esteem issues, which are central to bulimia. The industry's unrealistic portrayal of beauty and success further fuels her desire to control her body and her life.

Lastly, the protagonist's journey underscores the complexity of recovery and the challenges faced by young adults dealing with eating disorders. It highlights the importance of addressing the underlying emotional and psychological issues, such as grief, trauma, and identity, in addition to the physical aspects of the disorder. This mirrors the broader need for comprehensive support and understanding of mental health issues in young adults.

The protagonist's relationships significantly influence her recovery and growth. Her friendship with Miranda provides emotional support and camaraderie, while her relationship with Joe, despite its complexities, offers companionship and a sense of normalcy. Her family, particularly her mother, poses challenges due to their differing priorities and expectations, which contribute to her struggles with identity and self-worth. Her father's revelation about her true parentage adds another layer of complexity to her family dynamics.

Support from others, like her therapist Jeff, is crucial in her recovery. Jeff's guidance and tools help her confront her eating disorder and understand its roots. Her friends, like Colton and Miranda, offer emotional support and understanding, which is vital for her mental health. The protagonist's journey highlights the importance of seeking and maintaining supportive relationships, as well as the need for professional help, to overcome the challenges of fame and personal struggles.

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